School suspends Tebowing students

Wait. What? In the latest example of Tebowmania having gone completely off the cliff and free-falling into abject absurdity — seriously, is this what it was like when The Beatles landed on Plymouth Rock during the British Invasion (I might be mixing up historical events a bit there) — a group of athletes at a Long Island high school have been suspended  — no, not for completely inappropriate and disgusting hazing rituals or for drug and alcohol use — for the heinous act of Tebowing. Will somebody please think of the children?!?!

Connor Carroll, one of the two students suspended by Riverhead (N.Y.) High, said that he, his brother Tyler and classmates Wayne Drexel and Jordan Fulcoly only did the impromptu act of Tebowing “out of respect for Tebow, and because Tebowing is the new thing to do.” Makes sense. And while the two student athletes were the only kids suspended by the school, some 40 students, after seeing the four strike the pose, took part, causing a bit of a traffic jam in the school’s hallway, an apparent violation of the school’s rules. Their leadership in the spontaneous homage to Tebow, along with the fact that they received prior warning, appears to be the reason behind why only the two boys received their respective in-school suspensions.

Said Connor Carroll (via Prep Rally):

“The administration told us that our Tebowing was blocking the halls and could potentially cause a riot, because they were growing in number and if the wrong kid gets pushed a brawl could ensue,” Carroll told Prep Rally. “We had no idea that we could get suspended for such a thing. It was a joke between a group of friends that took a life of its own. We figured at the most we would just be told to stop.”

Seriously, I don’t know what’s crazier: that people are so obsessed with Tebowing or the fact these kids got suspended for doing it. Strange days are upon us friends.

In any event, it is abundantly clear that persecution of the disciples of Tebow hath begun. Remember, Tebowites: They may take your right to engage in Tebowing, but they can’t take…YOUR TEBOWWWWWWWWW!!!

Pic via Prep Rally.

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Patrick Kane’s ridiculous, deke-tastic shootout winner

Like me, Patrick Kane was born in the 1980s, meaning he no doubt grew up on the hockey wisdom of "The Mighty Ducks." The great philosopher Gordon Bombay taught that three is the appropriate number of dekes in a shootout. It's a time-honored method: forehand, backhand, forehand. Then you shoot. That's the way it's always been done.

But, on Wednesday night, Kane went rogue. Needing a goal in order to beat the Minnesota Wild in the shootout, Kane abandoned the tried and tested philosophy of the triple deke and instead broke out the never-before-seen fiftuple deke.

The shootout remains a crummy way to decide hockey games, but when it produces incredible goals like this one, it's a little more tolerable.

Five dekes in, Niklas Backstrom was out of his jock strap. Ten dekes later, the puck was in the back of the net. Never before have I seen so many dekes.

Gutsy move by Kane, who also went against the grain by coming in slow, rather than with speed, giving him time to handle the puck on the way in more times than some guys do in a game. Had this tactic failed, people would have complained about his languid pace, but it didn't. So it and its perpetrator are awesome.

The goal gave the Blackhawks a 4-3 shootout victory over the Wild.


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