Unless you've been living in the kind of isolated, hyper-delusional state common to drugged-out, washed-up Hollywood starlets, you're aware, by now, that Lindsay Lohan recently posed nude for Playboy. You may also be aware that the highly-anticipated photo spread has been leaked online and that the reaction to the sight of Lindsay in her freckled birthday suit has been, well...mixed.
Regardless of your feelings about Lindsay and the choices that she's made with her career and personal life, you'd be a fool to deny that she looks stunning in the photos. But of course she does. Given the team of make-up artists, photographers, and air-brushers at her disposal, anyone could appear nearly flawless. But nearly flawless wasn't enough for LiLo. These pictures were supposed to signal the rebirth of her career. They earned her some of her first positive press since The Parent Trap. This spread was supposed to blow our hair back and remind us why Lindsay used to be a star. Instead, we got a derivative spread featuring an attractive naked girl who looked about as natural as you'd expect from a redhead pretending to be Marilyn Monroe.
Lindsay's been judged harshly, but she deserves to be. This wasn't a leaked sex tape or a hacked cell phone photo. This was a ploy for money and a career comeback by a young woman who's done nothing to debunk rumors that she's anything but a self-obsessed egomaniac. Her notoriety is the result of the same "fame is the new talent" dynamic that gave us the Kardashian franchise, but Lindsay's popularity is even more ill-gained. The fact that she received a million dollar paycheck for a few hours of nudity speaks volumes about the assets that the entertainment industry considers valuable. But the fact that the Internet spoiled Playboy's big payday indicates that the old, cheap tricks aren't working anymore.
The Kardashian empire is crumbling and the Lohan Playboy sales bonanza turned out to be a bust. The two downfalls may seem unrelated, but they're not. In the modern age, intelligent, disgruntled fans can convene on the Internet and lay waste to the delicate PR shields that talentless mega-stars hide behind. We saw through Kim's marriage scam for the same reason we're unimpressed by Lindsay's photoshopped hotness: even if we're not in the know, we have a direct connection to people who are. So since the web burst her naked bubble, will LiLo enjoy any career boost from showing off the goods?
No. But not because of the leak. A smarter star could have turned the premature release of the photos into a "Whoops, I'm just like y'all" moment. Instead, Linds remained characteristically skittish about interviews, but remained in the public eye as a result of the moronic scandals that she's best known for. Lindsay's career won't benefit from her Playboy spread simply because the public is fed up with her and we see right through her desperate last-ditch effort to remain famous.
Kim Kardashian's sex tape may have helped her become famous, but LiLo's latest attempt at gaining the public's adoration is even more pathetic. For one, she was already famous. She gained fame legitimately, as a result of her talent, but squandered it through years of misbehavior. Two, even if Kim masterminded the release of her own sex tape, she didn't directly receive a paycheck from it the way Lindsay did. The well-known million dollar price tag on her photos may be a point of pride for Lindsay, but it smacks of desperation to everyone else. Nudity has been the last resort for many a failed actress in the twilight of her career.
So this could be the last gasp of the tabloid queen America loves to hate. Lindsay could still resurrect her acting career, but it seems unlikely she'd be willing to put in the work and pay her dues with small indie roles the way she would need to. But what's bad for Lindsay is good for our culture. Turning our attention away from her sends a message that we'll indulge spoiled, entitled starlets for only so long before we grow tired of their antics. By putting the final nail in her career's coffin we're saying that a lasting place in the spotlight must be earned through talent and hard work. If I were Kim Kardashian, I'd be very nervous.
The Kardashian empire is crumbling and the Lohan Playboy sales bonanza turned out to be a bust. The two downfalls may seem unrelated, but they're not. In the modern age, intelligent, disgruntled fans can convene on the Internet and lay waste to the delicate PR shields that talentless mega-stars hide behind. We saw through Kim's marriage scam for the same reason we're unimpressed by Lindsay's photoshopped hotness: even if we're not in the know, we have a direct connection to people who are. So since the web burst her naked bubble, will LiLo enjoy any career boost from showing off the goods?
No. But not because of the leak. A smarter star could have turned the premature release of the photos into a "Whoops, I'm just like y'all" moment. Instead, Linds remained characteristically skittish about interviews, but remained in the public eye as a result of the moronic scandals that she's best known for. Lindsay's career won't benefit from her Playboy spread simply because the public is fed up with her and we see right through her desperate last-ditch effort to remain famous.
Kim Kardashian's sex tape may have helped her become famous, but LiLo's latest attempt at gaining the public's adoration is even more pathetic. For one, she was already famous. She gained fame legitimately, as a result of her talent, but squandered it through years of misbehavior. Two, even if Kim masterminded the release of her own sex tape, she didn't directly receive a paycheck from it the way Lindsay did. The well-known million dollar price tag on her photos may be a point of pride for Lindsay, but it smacks of desperation to everyone else. Nudity has been the last resort for many a failed actress in the twilight of her career.
So this could be the last gasp of the tabloid queen America loves to hate. Lindsay could still resurrect her acting career, but it seems unlikely she'd be willing to put in the work and pay her dues with small indie roles the way she would need to. But what's bad for Lindsay is good for our culture. Turning our attention away from her sends a message that we'll indulge spoiled, entitled starlets for only so long before we grow tired of their antics. By putting the final nail in her career's coffin we're saying that a lasting place in the spotlight must be earned through talent and hard work. If I were Kim Kardashian, I'd be very nervous.
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